Paralyzing Panic
by ryrissa1993
Summary: Hey, this is my 1st fanfic for #NightShift, it is a two shot: Jordan's loss of her father, 1) backstory 2) based off events in 1X4 I am a 1,000% TC & Jordan shipper, so you'll see their interaction in part 2
1. Chapter 1

**The Night Shift Fanfic 1:**

 **"Paralyzing Panic" part 1**

 _ **Author's Note:**_

Hey everyone, this is my first time with a fanfic for "The Night Shift" I have been binge watching it like crazy lately, so as I was I thought of this fanfiction idea.

This story will be a two-shot, based on the events of how Jordan lost her father at the age of fifteen, expressed in season one, episode four.

The song lyrics I have chosen to incorporate in this first part are: "Daddy's Little Girl" by Frankie J.

I hope you all like this first part.

Please take the time to read and review.

Happy Reading,

All my Love,

~Ryrissa1993~

 _ **Disclaimer:**_

I do not own the show, "The Night Shift" nor the brilliant characters' within the show. I am just borrowing them for some angst, slightly dramatic, heart wrenching entertainment.

 _ **"She drags her feet across the floor,**_

 _ **Trying to hold back time to keep him holding on"**_

I woke up to a scream, startled, feeling shaken. I quickly scanned the room, observing for the source of sound; finding it had erupted from deep within myself… Collecting my thoughts in the comfortable four walls of my bedroom and letting myself feel the pain again.

My heart rose up into my throat, hands weaving into my hair, pulling at the strands, grasping anything. The pain increasing in my chest once again as tears were now streaming down my cheeks as my eyes close… eyes closing as the words rang loudly. The words I wish never came from her lips.

 _"You might not understand, Jordan, I don't expect you to. I know you don't agree but I do, and your father wants it this way, Sweetie. He just wants to pray."_

I bit back the sob for as long as I could, I clenched the sweater in my hands, buried my face within and cried, truly cried.

 _ **"Daddy, Daddy,**_

 _ **don't leave**_

 _ **I'll do anything to keep**_

 _ **you here with me**_

 _ **Can't you see**_

 _ **how much I need you?"**_

 _"I'm sorry, Darlin' but I have made up my mind"_

was my father's response as I tried to reason with him yet again. I had received this response so much in the past few weeks, anger boiling, I lost it.

 _"No! I don't understand, Dad! You could be treated, easily! You could LIVE! Why don't you want to? Why are you giving up, giving up on me- the chance to see me graduate, get married! That IS what I understand, Dad!"_

 _"Jordan- Jordan!"_

I heard my father yelling after me but I was already slamming the front door.

It was almost midnight, I had been walking for what felt like an eternity but in reality it had only been about four miles. I found myself standing in the parking lot of a church.

It was honestly the last place I would ever have expected my feet to carry me; my parents however are completely religious, me, I just tag along in the church to appease them.

What I believe- I do, but I express it in a different way, but I am here, so I might as well walk in.

I collapse to my knees in front of a candle I had just lit, did the only thing I ccould, did not do often, but feel as though when I did, I needed to be here to do so.

I now bowed my head and prayed:

 _ **"… Father save him**_

 _ **I would do anything in return**_

 _ **I'll clean my room**_

 _ **Try hard in school**_

 _ **I'll be good**_

 _ **I promise you**_

 _ **Father, Father**_

 _ **I pray to you…"**_

Four weeks- it has been four weeks since I had that fight with my father. We apologized to one another seeing how our emotions at the time were guiding our words, well, mine.

We were speaking, but not about the situation at hand with us still sticking to our guns, agreeing to disagree I guess one could say.

I am beyond frustrated with how he is agreeing, choosing not to fight something that is simply curable. It breaks my heart…. He's fading…

 _ **"They tried just about everything**_

 _ **It's getting harder for him to breathe."**_

I had just left school, walking into the house- seeing him barely holding on, my concern written all over my face, but the words kept silent. I want to spend every second in happiness instead of arguments.

 _"Hey, Jordie, how was school, kiddo?"_

 _"It was good, Daddy! I managed to get an A on my science this semester."_

 _"That's great, I'm very proud of you! You will get into so many great colleges! You're very smart, Kiddo. Always have been, always will be."_

I went to reply and heard a sudden wheeze escape his lips- the wheezing was getting worse lately, his lungs, giving out.

I gently placed a hand on his cheek as I kneeled down beside him,

 _"It's okay, Jordie, I love you, baby girl"_

 ** _"Daddy, Daddy, don't leave_**

 ** _I'll do anything to keep_**

 ** _You right here with me."_**

 _" I…. I love… you… Jordie, my baby."_

I felt the tears well up in my eyes, the panic rise in my chest, the earge to run had never been so strong.

I darted out the front door, running as far as my legs would allow.

I ended up in a park, sitting on a bench, dry heaving as all my emotions came crashing down.

My body shaking, lungs and now legs burning.

I pulled my knees into my chest, my head buried between them as I tried to breathe.

 ** _"Need a little more time_**

 ** _To tell him that I love him more_**

 ** _Than anything in the world,_**

 ** _Is Daddy's Little Girl"_**

 _ **Author's Note:**_

I hope you all liked the first part to this two shot fanfiction. The second part will be a little more based on the episode, this was kind of a back story.

Please take the time to leave a review, I would love to hear your thoughts

Thank you again for taking the time to read!

Love Always,

~Ryrissa1993~


	2. Chapter 2

**The Night Shift Fanfic 1:**

 **"PARALYZED PANIC" Part 2:**

 **Author's Note:**

Hey, all this is still my first fanfiction for 'The Night Shift' it is just the second part to it.

This chapter is based off of the events in 1X4 "Grace Under Fire"

I am a HUGE TC and Jordan shipper as I have said before. Sadly, there is not as many Fanfic of the two, so it is up to us to get more of them out there

Anyway, I hope I captured more of Jordan's emotions in this chapter as I had in the previous if not more so here, TC with his gentleness and compassion for the fellow brunette.

It is hurt/comfort/tragedy.

Song lyrics are taken from, "Don't Let Me Down" -Chain Smokers

I say tragedy because the death of a parent is never easy, never something you get over- you just learn to work with it, hopefully you are making them proud as you continue your journey through life.

This may be a fanfic about Jordan and her dad, but I need to dedicate this one to my mommy! Thank you for giving me the amazing gift of life, writing talent and I hope you are proud of me, rest in peace, I love you! Xoxo

Well that's it for now- happy reading loves!

~Ryrissa1993

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ __I do not own the show, 'The Night Shift' nor its characters' I am just borrowing them for some extra entertainment we all crave in between new episode airings!

 _ **~TC's point of view~**_

I knew this case has been rough on J. I have been attempting to get her to speak to me, but she has yet to accept my support.

No, we are no longer together but she is still my best friend. I still have feelings for her but have yet to admit it aloud, subconsciously pretending it is not true. She is with Scott. She is happy, but her current state is telling me otherwise.

It is more than just this case that has her so rattled and frail.

I hate the worn down expression she cares- the dark circles under her eyes only I can clearly see, desperately hidden under her make-up. It breaks my heart to say the least...

 _ **~J's point of view~**_

 _ **"Crashing, hit a wall**_

 _ **Right now I need a miracle"**_

I have been hiding this so well lately, lack of sleep, food, the entire horror this grief has swept over my body.

I thought I had escaped this. I had dealt with it long enough to leave it in the past.

Scott- I've never uttered a word to the man about it.

There was only one person I have ever let see me break.

The true love of my life, soulmate, Thomas Charles Callahan.

 _ **"Stranded-**_

 _ **Reaching out-**_

 _ **I call your name, but you're not around"**_

I want to let T.C. in, be able to confide in him like I used to, feel the closeness, where the touch of another human being that isn't so… forced?

I hate that… I am dating Scott. He should be the one I feel as though I can confide in, his arms I seek wrapped around me.

I have come to realize why I have stalled so long, I love him, but I have never been in love with him.

I think all this time I had just wanted to believe I had, made the pain less.

 _ **"Running out of time…**_

 _ **Now there's no body by my side"**_

 _ **~TC point of view~**_

 _"Hey, how is your night going?"_

 _"T, enough with the small talk, okay? Just… say what you want to say."_

 _"Okay, J, I know you are NOT okay… I know you- I have known you long enough to be able to tell when something is up. It isn't just the case, is it?"_

 _"I…."_

 _"C'mon, J, I know you're with Scott and all, but talk to me… let me in…. Let me help you."_

 _"It's my Dad, I…."_

 _"It is okay to miss him, J. You need to let yourself feel._

 _If anyone knows how much NOT working through it can hurt things, it is me."_

 _"T, I didn't mean to…"_

 _"No, its fine. When's the last time you slept?"_

 _"…"_

 _"That combine with this case alone… cm'here"_

 _ **"It's in my head**_

 _ **Darlin', I hope that you'll be here**_

 _ **When I need you the most…**_

 _ **So, don't let me down"**_

I have never seen Jordan break so fast in all the time I have known her, eight years to be exact.

I have seen her shed tears here and there, some were guiltily over me, but nothing like this…

 _"Sshh… it's okay, J…let it go… I'm here, I'm here."_

 _ **"Don't let me down-**_

 _ **I think I'm losing my mind"**_

 _ **~Jordan's point of view~**_

I felt his arms pull me in tighter the involuntary sigh of content he let out as he embraced me for the first time in so long.

The case, lack of sleep, and just being in the safety of his arms again, I broke immediately.

I cannot remember the last time or if ever I truly broke down like this.

It felt like an eternity later, tears still falling, arms still a strong hold as my body continued to falter.

 _"J? Hey, Baby, I need you to calm down for me"_

I heard him whisper into my ear. He sounded so far from me, but I knew he was close.

 _"T?"_

my voice sounded so faint I could barely hear myself. My body felt like it was floating.

 _"Yeah, its me, Sweetheart. I'm right here…Sshh…"_

 _"I…. Can't… T…"_

 _"What's wrong?"_

 _"My chest, T, I… I… Can't breathe…"_

 _"Okay, slow, deep breaths"_

There was barely air able to pass through, my lungs too constricted, my pain continued to rise. My logic doctor brain turned to mush and over taken me with pure fear.

 _ **~TC point of view~**_

Jordan was now experiencing a full blown panic attack before me. The tears were steadily dripping or rather pouring down her angelic face. I was not getting through to her as quickly as I needed to, so I pulled her closer into me; her head resting on my chest.

 _"Its okay, you're going to be okay, Jor… Listen to my breathing"_

It took nearly a half hour before her grip on me slightly loosened, but did not let go.

 _"Jor, how are you feeling, babe?"_

 _"I'm better, but my chest is still killing me. I don't know what happened."_

 _"you had a severe panic attack. Jor, if I did not calm you down when I did you would have passed out on me. It…you… scared the hell out of me."_

 _"I'm so sorry, T. I did… Didn't mean to scare you… I swear… I… I…."_

 ** _~J's point of view~_**

 _"sshh…"_

I heard him whisper in my ear for the billionth time and it never ceased to not calm me. I feel as safe in his arms as I always have, I could never be this open with Scott.

Maybe, maybe, I could, but I wouldn't

I contently sighed and relaxed into his embrace once more, breathing in the unique, comfort scent that is only Thomas Charles Callahan.

 _"T?"_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"Thank you"_

 _"You don't need to thank me- not now, not ever"_

 _"yeah, I do, you're the only one that knows. Who has seen me like this"_

 _"Wait, Scott, doesn't know?"_

 _"He knows my Dad is gone, but nothing else"_

 _"Wow, can I ask why he doesn't know?"_

 _"You're the only one T, one I can count on, judgeless, compassionate, you're my safe place, T: even with our ups and downs I know I can still come to you._

 _I know it is probably not a good time to tell you this, but I still love you, T."_

 _"I completely understand, J. And you are there for me all the same. I would never judge you, turn you away, no matter what. I know you are with Scott, but I still love you too._

 _I always have and always will. We have something that's undeniable, irresistible, we were just simply always meant to be."_

 _ **"Darlin', I hope that you'll be here**_

 _ **When I need you the most-**_

 _ **Don't let me down"**_

 _ **Author's Note:**_

Well, my lovely readers that is the end of this two shot for these incredible humans we love so much,

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for taking the time to read!

Please take the time to review.

Love Always,

~Ryrissa1993


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